Brutus is an honorable man.

And it is true. He was an honorable man. I just really like that quote. I think it's awesome. It has nothing to due with what I'm writing about.

And so it begins...

Well, so far I have had a very long day. And I shouldn't be writing this, but I'm going to anyway. Lets start with my spring break.

There are many reasons why I love going to visit my grandparents. The obvious is that I love them very much. The not so obvious is the feeling of security and the fact that I can be myself and not be judged by anyone. I feel free and so happy there. I can speak my opinions and I don't hide out in my room. They listen to me when I talk and that house is filled with so many happy memories. Being there, I forget all my problems and I am a completely different person. I'm happy and bubbly. I'm loved. That is the most amazing feeling. To be needed, wanted and accepted. There is no doubt in my mind that my grandparents love me because they do so much. They understand that i am not always happy here and they make every visit memorable. I like how all three of us read on the patio and how we eat together and how my grandmother has a fresh cup of coffee waiting for me in the mornings. They care for my point of view. They include me in their lives. They take the time to get to know me and give me a chance to breathe. Like I said, amazing. I don't mind doing the dishes or helping when asked. I owe my grandparents everything. Now, don't get me wrong. I love my parents and I owe them everything as well. My whole family means the world to me, but Lord knows I need a break from the chaos every now and then. =D

While I was with my grandparents, I also babysat my cousins, bug-a-boo and bubba. (no those are not their real names) I love my cousins as well. They always make me laugh and we have the best time. We went to the park one day. It was so much fun. Bug-a-boo and I went on the swings and went down the slide and had an adventure. Yes, Bubba was there but he was with my aunt. I have a few pictures of our fun, but I really want to edit them before I put them up. Boo tried to get me to go on the "Monkey Bars" but there was no way that as happening. I had a traumatic experience on the "Monkey Bars". That's a story for another time though. All in all, my cousins made my time down there much more fun.

Coming home, I found my mom violated our contract and cleaned my room. I was not a happy person. Not at all. I have no idea where any of my stuff is. I still cannot find a few things. I love my mother so very much, but I absolutely hate it when she cleans my room. It looks like those model home rooms. Unlived in, with no personality. When someone walks in my room, I want my personality to scream at them. I want someone to walk in and think 'Yep. This is Lauren's room.' No doubt about it. That's another reason I love my grandparents. My grandmas personality is shouting out at you everywhere. I love it. You know what type of person my grandma is the second you walk through the door. That is how I want my room to be. It saves me a heck of a lot of time instead of having to explain myself. My rooms says it all. My dad doesn't want me to have a room like this though. He doesn't understand. He never does. All well.

I hate to leave on that note, but I really need to get the rest of my homework done.

Take aim at myself, take back what you said.

Why must girls be subjected to have difficult and unpredictable mood swings?

Honestly, I can't take it anymore. It's ridiculous. I swear my friends think I'm bipolar. I can't help it though! For example, this morning I couldn't have been any happier and somehow by lunch that little bit of joy had evaporated. By then, I was just not in the mood. After school, I was about ready to bite someones head off. Now that I'm home, however, I feel perfectly content. It's horrible. I feel so bad. I was nice to Mitchell though! That's something new. We always usually find something to argue about. It's not like serious arguing, it is all just for fun. We usually end up laughing about it. Haha, it's ALMOST like we're an old married couple. Not today though. We got along just fine. I dunno. Something has got to be wrong with me or maybe it's just hormones. Whatever the case may be, I shall find some way to be happy tomorrow. I'll make it my goal for the day. Although, fourth period might kill any chance of sunshine in my life. Haha.

So my latest book is about a girl who is currently suffering from anorexia. It's called "Second Star to the Right". So far it is a good book. You hear from this 14 year old girl who is obsessed with losing weight she doesn't need to. It's sad and slightly frightening. She has no idea she is sick and neither does anyone around her. All you read for a good part of the book is that she needs to lose more weight. 105 is perfect...no 99...she said that she would do whatever it takes to feel perfect. To feel thin. She's only 14. It's very sad that she thinks she's fat. She won't allow herself to eat anything.This isn't a scary book, just sad. I wish her parents would realize already that her "diet" is not a diet. It's starvation, but it's just a book. I tend to overreact to this stuff. I can't help that either.

Anyway, my actual diet I've tried to start...that isn't going too well. I could use a little more discipline, but when presented with the chance to have a Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger from Jack in the Box, you are right in thinking that I'm going to take it. It's going to be very difficult to drop 5 pounds. I will succeed though! Especially with summer coming up. My goal is 115 and to keep it in that area. So technically I have to lose ten lbs to reach it, but I figured I would start out with a reasonable number. One I can actually achieve and one that would make me feel healthier.

So now, I'm off to go do a nice little work out that won't last long! =D Haha, I say a good hour or a little less.

(By the way, this has nothing to do with the book I'm reading. I've been meaning to do this since February. I know my limits and I like food way to much to EVER give it up. Especially french fries..)